


i swallowed my pride and i choked on my faith, i've given my heart and my soul (i've broken my fingers and lied through my teeth, the pillar of damage control)

by lovelyflowersinherhair



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-16 06:14:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21266387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovelyflowersinherhair/pseuds/lovelyflowersinherhair
Summary: “I haven’t been hiding them, Cousin Alice. I simply think they should be living with their father, and not in the sanitorium with their poor excuse for a matrilineal line. However, the twins have name it clear that they disagree with my assessment.”“Living with their father?” Alice’s tone could have cut glass. “Pray tell, Cheryl. What does that mean?”“That they should be living in the Blossom home, of course. What else would it mean, Cousin Alice?”“That’s not what you told JB, now, is it?”“You misunderstood what you overheard.”“Don’t play me for the fool, Cheryl. I’m not one of your insipid minions. I know what I heard, and I damn well understood it. You were supposed to keep them safe! Not expose them to God knows what disease and pathogens a dead body has! I don’t even want to think about how--you know what? Why don’t you just leave? I think I can take care of my grandchildren from here.”Jellybean did not understand what was so great about living on Elm Street.





	i swallowed my pride and i choked on my faith, i've given my heart and my soul (i've broken my fingers and lied through my teeth, the pillar of damage control)

JB didn’t know what to do with herself. Her mom had signed the divorce papers that her father had sent to her and hadn’t bothered to stay in touch with her since she’d left Riverdale (she  _ knew _ that Gladys was purposely ignoring her phone calls and texts, okay? She wasn’t dumb), and her dad had been more than happy to let Betty and her mother move in with them. She hadn’t really cared about that. Betty made Jughead happy and if Alice made her dad happy she would deal. It wasn’t like either of them paid much attention to her anyways. 

She just hated that her brother had abandoned her. Wasn’t it typical of Jughead to lie through his teeth about how much he’d missed her over the years that they’d been apart and then swan off to some stupid-ass prep school that sounded like a scam operation? They’d already tried to kill him once. 

Jughead had told Dad that JB had an imagination when she had informed him and Alice about Jughead’s adventures in the coffin, which she hadn’t been making up. She had, however, been listening in on the lame ass phone conversation that Betty had been having with her idiot brother, and she hadn’t appreciated being branded as a liar. 

Frankly, if that was going to be Jughead’s attitude, Jellybean was partly glad to have him gone. 

It was just so  _ lame _ being on the Northside. Of course, she had lived on the Northside the first time she’d lived in Riverdale, when her dad had worked with Mr. Andrews at his construction company and her parents pretended that they were in love and didn’t completely hate each other, but Jellybean barely remembered that, and she had been much younger at the time. She hadn’t experienced working at a chop shop and running drugs and being a badass with her slingshot.

She didn’t understand what was so great about living on Elm Street. 

She let out a loud -- pointed -- sigh, though she was careful not to draw too much attention to herself. She also didn’t want to wake Alice. The older woman had fallen asleep on the couch in front of the television, which was playing some  _ lame _ movie that only moms wanted to watch, except that clearly wasn’t the case, given that Alice was soundly asleep, and Jellybean was fairly convinced she was a mother. 

Not only was there Betty as proof of that, but there was also Alice’s batshit daughter who was locked away in a home for the nutty, and Charles. 

Talk about lame. It was bad enough that Dad was the Sheriff. Why was she also stuck with a half-brother who was a member of the Feds? No wonder Mom wanted nothing to do with her. She probably thought Jellybean had sold out.

She shook her head. If she sat downstairs and pretended she was watching the lame movie, Dad would be happy, even though Alice was asleep. And it wasn’t like she had much better to do.

She bit back another sigh and sat down on the couch, as far away from Alice as possible. She didn’t want to startle her, or anything. It wasn’t Alice’s fault that they were stuck living together. And she made sure that Jellybean had a homemade lunch every day for school. Though Jellybean had protested this loudly, she secretly enjoyed it. 

No one had ever made her a bagged lunch before. 

It was weird. But. Whatever. If Alice thought she deserved these things, she wouldn’t convince her otherwise. 

She grabbed the blanket that was kept folded on the back of the couch and threw it over Alice, not wanting her to get cold.

The doorbell rang, and the imposing sound of its chimes filled the room, and she glanced over at Alice, who had burrowed herself under the blanket, and showed no signs of being roused. 

The bell chimed again. “Alice?” JB questioned, her voice barely above a whisper. “Are you going to get that?”

She let out a loud snore in response. 

Jellybean sighed, and she resigned herself to the fact that she would be the one to have to answer the door, as she climbed off the couch and headed in the direction of the front hallway. If the person ringing the doorbell was one of those Hal Cooper adoring freaks, Jellybean was going to pop them with her slingshot. Hal was lamer than lame, and he was a terrible serial killer. The people who idolized him could do  _ much _ better. 

“Who the hell are you?” Jellybean demanded. 

The person who stood in front of her held two babies, one in each car seat, and she bore an expression of absolute displeasure.

“I am returning these infants to Cousin Alice,” the redhead said, not bothering to actually answer her question. “I won’t have them in my house if they’re going to be so  _ utterly _ disrespectful to their father.” 

“They’re...babies,” she said, and she squinted at her in confusion. “I don’t think they’re capable of being disrespectful--”

“I wanted them to engage in an afternoon tea with myself, Nana Rose, and JJ, and they treated their father with a total lack of respect,” she snapped. “How  _ dare _ they focus on the rats who have infiltrated his body? They just wanted to pet them and use them as chew toys!” 

“What?” 

“You heard me. It isn’t JJ’s fault that his body has been overrun by vermin. He can’t help that he’s been improperly embalmed. They’re the ones who are being deviant!”

Jellybean had no idea whose babies the stranger had. She didn’t even know who the stranger was. She just didn’t think that she could make her keep the babies if they were using  _ rats _ as chew toys. Alice was going to have a fit, regardless of how she knew their new visitors. 

“Why don’t you leave the babies right here?” JB suggested. “On the porch. I’ll make sure that Alice gets them.” 

“See to it that she does,” she said. “I won’t be party to this behavior. If they can’t respect Jason’s role in our family, they are out of the house.” 

The babies gurgled happily. 

“See?” She continued. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

JB rolled her eyes. “They’re happy. Being happy isn’t a crime. Unlike harboring a dead body.” 

“I beg your pardon?” 

“You heard me,” she said. “Everyone knows that that’s illegal. Haven’t you seen Law and Order?” 

“JJ is my twin,” she hissed. “There is nothing  _ illegal _ about having him back at home, where he belongs. Do you want the brats, or not?”

“I said I would bring them to her,” Jellybean said. “Why don’t you just leave?”

“What? How dare you--Cousin Alice. How lovely to see you.” 

“Don’t you Cousin-Alice-how-lovely-to-see-you me,” Alice said, dangerously close to Jellybean’s ear, and in a tone she decided she wanted to both emulate and avoid. “Where the hell have you been hiding Juniper and Dagwood?”   
  


“I haven’t been  _ hiding _ them, Cousin Alice. I simply think they should be living with their father, and not in the sanitorium with their poor excuse for a matrilineal line. However, the twins have name it clear that they disagree with my assessment.” 

“Living with their father?” Alice’s tone could have cut glass. “Pray tell, Cheryl. What does that mean?” 

“That they should be living in the Blossom home, of course. What else would it mean, Cousin Alice?” 

“That’s not what you told JB, now, is it?” 

“You misunderstood what you overheard.”   
  


“Don’t play me for the fool, Cheryl. I’m not one of your insipid minions. I know what I heard, and I damn well understood it. You were supposed to keep them safe! Not expose them to God knows what disease and pathogens a dead body has! I don’t even want to  _ think _ about how--you know what? Why don’t you just leave? I think I can take care of my grandchildren from here.”

“Is that what you want?” 

“Yes, Cheryl. It’s what I want. Get out. Before I call the Sheriff.” 


End file.
